LET IT FLOW OR NO?

“Regret is such a short word…and yet it stretches on forever.“

“Time inevitably moves forward… but it seems that I cannot.”

Ranata Suzuki

Don't know why it's so hard to live in the moment & let go of the past
A past filled with anger, pain, and frustrations about outcomes that didn't last
Still pissed the day I said, "Yes" to that money hungry, unnecessary, hurtful net
How can I free myself from the pain it caused when the discomfort remains posing a threat
A threat to my sanity-yes side effects are a motha positioning themselves as a constant reminder
I miss the symptoms I had before it promised to help me feel at ease, stronger & kinder
Before the net trapped me, I was moody, anemic with constant bladder issues with minimum, occasional pelvic pain
After captured, I'm more moody with severe painful pelvic muscle spasms unable to hold my urine for even a second...so tell me where's the gain??
You said I'll feel better, you fuckin said it with confidence or arrogance like it wasn't shit to think about with a smile
That cocky smile gave me some assurance; I need it like many others before me- I believed I wasn't a trial
YOU FUCKING LIED-like they all do...let me rip out your organ & watch you attempt to carry on with life like you did before
I must forgive my decision, for it was mines alone but I'm stunned for not realizing what was in store
That awfully long , dark midnight road with no end in site to recovery and a new me
Well, 6 months later & I think I can finally make a right turn off Hell Drive with glee
Dam Hysterectomy😡a true no-bullshit serious ass surgery-no more periods is indeed a fact
Explore other options ladies, recovery is the Queen Bitch herself stepping, no stumping on your back
Think of a more amped up, more furious, more depressing pain that comes with and after childbirth only lasting much longer
That bitch made me question the purpose of my existence on earth & whether I even wanted to get stronger
The pain is real ya'll , so real cascading over your body creating tears that flow nonstop as you execute an escape
A plan to escape it all as you discover you're not as tough as you thought being in really bad shape
I can't take this unbearable pain no fucking more, can't even fart
Guess a higher power guided me through that sticky ass mud river I was ecstatic to depart!!